Croydon South Hustings – Philp Roughed Up #GE2015 #ClassWar

At the Croydon South hustings on 28th April Tory millionaire Chris Philp got a total pasting.

Hustings 1

I was careful to set the scene in my opening remarks to focus on the effects of Tory policy – death, chaos and destruction. I talked about the rise of food banks and with it the rise of suicides amongst those suffering under a brutal benefits sanction regime. I talked about the high levels of evictions and how these are backed up with violent force by bailiffs and the police. I left people in no doubt about my views – that a vote for Philp is a vote for chaos and that his policies would result in death for thousands of people.

When he stood up there were shouts from the floor of “murderer!” and he found it hard to compose himself. He talked about starting his own business and how he used to drive a van to make himself appear like a regular guy. What a hero! He drove his own van!

The other candidates really didn’t matter. The Ukipper mentioned something about having CO2 in her pants at one point (I think).

The Putting Croydon at the Centre of the Universe candidate might have been saying anhything. Nobody was listening. Emily (limp handshake) Benn looked at me like I should have curtsied when she entered the room. She had little to say of import.

Philp was tested. But he will still win.

For my part I joked about saving money by abolishing the monarchy and in reference to the expected new arrival, suggested a sterilisation programme for the royals. Not everyone understood it as a joke. One Labour blog found it a little too much.

I decided that instead of repeating the terrible bullshit of others in their closing remarks I would use the opportunity to pay respect to all the workers who have lost their lives due to the savgery that is capitalism. I invited the hall to join me in a minutes’ silence for International Workers’ Memorial Day.

I took this very seriously. My understanding is that Philp found this very uncomforatble. The minute seemed to last forever for the Thatcherite. I hope it burned him.

So, I win the hustings. Who’d have thunked it. I can’t wait to see Philp again for the next round.


2 thoughts on “Croydon South Hustings – Philp Roughed Up #GE2015 #ClassWar

  1. Support and solidarity but I’m not in your constituency so voting TUSC elsewhere. Keep at Chris job for life tory Philp as long as he remains screwing over the people of Croydon

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